See you, Al

Today was supposed to be a fun day. After having one day off in between 3 days/2 days of 12-hour-dayshift for almost 2 weeks, I was looking forward to two days off. It began normal. Til my bestguy mate sent me a message. The moment I read, "You heard about Al?" I felt.. weird. Then I checked my FB newsfeed. 

And there it was. 

I am trying to shake off reality over and over til it's just to real to deny. The out pour of grief and sadness was palpable that you know you just lost a valuable person in your life. Al and I got close in college. Parang kuya na kabarkada and always willing to listen. Yes, he is makulit and kalog, but he definitely did make our days better and bearable kahit corny sya lagi. After college, Al and I were never in constant communication. But whenever we have time, we make sure we get together, with the rest of my college barkada. He passed away in an exhibition flight in Nasugbu, Batangas, he was with his chief pilot during the crash. I saw the video.. and I got goosebumps knowing that it was him in the plane. Iniisip ko na lang it was a quick and pain-free death for my friend. 

I wish I was able to tell him that he is special, good natured and kind. I wish I was able to tell him he is one of the best people ever. I wish he wasn't taken away.. but Allah SWT is the Supreme Planner and I have faith that everything happens for a reason. My heart and my prayers go out to your grieving family and friends, I pray for strength for your wife and your unborn child. I promise to get to know him and in shaa Allah be able to tell him how awesome his dad was. You're awesome, 2nd Lt. Al-Nazer Jana. You will forever be missed. I love you, brother. I hope somehow this reaches you.

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.

12 words, one story

There's this boy I like,

too bad he doesn't like me back.

A life lost is one future gone

I regram-ed this early today. My heart is shattered in pieces. I think about their young, innocent faces going through shock and fear while it happened. I think about their weeping families and friends who now mourn for lives lost, hugs and kisses that will never come, laughter and smiles that will never be the same. I think about how the world has gone heartless and faith-less. I think about my family--my sister, my brother, my little cousins who love school and treat it as their second home. I think about all the countless lives taken away. I think about all the wrong in the world, but will remain full in faith and hope that goodness will always prevail.

May Jannatul Firdaus be granted to the lives taken on the #peshawarattack in Pakistan. 

My thoughts and my prayers are with all the families and loved ones left behind. Be strong. Keep the faith. Allah SWT is with us, is the Almighty, is the Most Knowing, is the Best of Planners.

#illridewithyou

Random chatter

I was set for the day. Confident I wouldn't be doing office work because I was scheduled to work in another unit. But there were only 2 patients in that ward so I was called back to help with office work. I totally underestimated quality control people. I have only done it for 2 days and here I am, all stressed out. Imagine having it as a full-time job.. @@ Well, honestly, I am not planning to be a bedside nurse forever. I am considering shifting to a career still medically inclined but not as bedside anymore. I was actually thinking of shifting to quality work or maybe clinical instructor.. but, the 2 days I just had, left me mentally drained. I guess it was an untimely exposure to the workload since it's the end of 3rd quarter and reports/survey are being finalized.

Still, today was an odd day.

I saw different sides of our director, nurse managers and the supervisors.

What was really odd?


I had lunch with the big bosses.

Glad I didn't choke.

Go away unnecessary fats

In my weight loss journey, the humps and bumps are inevitable. Though I noticed that my setbacks are greater than my success. I came to Saudi Arabia at 54 kg, 3 months later, I gained 3 kilos and then some. After a couple of months, I got to 63 kg. Something I am not proud of. That day was my wakeup call. I started exercising, eating less, eating better. And then, I lose 2 kgs. 61 kg now and I can't seem to lose anymore. It's 60 kg, then 61, then 59 then bounce back to 51. It's already a struglle to begin with, what now with all these figures?

Now, I am at 61 kg. To get to normal BMI, I need to lose 7 kgs.

I know how to do it, I just need a motivation..

And I realized I am going home a month from now..

SO I CANNOT GO HOME LOOKING LIKE I ATE ALL THE CAMELS IN THE KINGDOM.

I will make ^^^^^^^^ my mantra!

Reminder to myself:

Fats, you will die.


(Photo from Tumblr)

Sheerio

Guess who has been watching Ed Sheeran for like 4 hours straight now?? Guilty. 

I didn't understand why my sister is such a huge fan until recently, when I started to really listen to him. 

He is magic. 

This day, I am officially a Sheerio.