Twenty three

Assalamualaikum~

Guess who turned 23 last 30th of June? Who else but me! I thank Allah for the wonderful blessings and love He unconditionally showered upon me for 23 years. I pray that I become stronger in faith, that I prove worthy of His love and entry in Jannah; I pray good health for myself and for my loved ones; I pray for love that will last 'til Jannah in shaa Allah. I feel like I am asking for too much here but in all honesty, I will be grateful for whatever He gives. :)

What I did that day? It was a Sunday and we have that day to get groceries. I bought ice cream for everyone. Dinner was scrumptous as always. It was like any other day because I have learned not to celebrate it the way I used to. Not that I celebrated it with a large crowd and singing and booze, astaghfirullah, that's haram. We used to have cake and tons of food. This time though, it didn't matter if there's something special in store for me. I would admit though that it felt nice that my friends remembered I was turning a year older (wiser, too, perhaps?).

Blabbers and wonders

Assalamualikum.

It has been over a month since my last update. I feel like I don't know how to blog anymore. Not like I am an expert or anything.. just.. I know you get what I mean. Anywootsiedoops, I have been MIA for such a looooong time because I had "important" "adult-ish" "mature-ish" stuff to take care of (and still taking care of at the moment). And as much as I am itching to share the details, I would rather keep it to myself and my family for now (woah, I feel like I am getting married or something, and it's not that, not yet). In shaa Allah when everything's set.. I actually drafted a couple of posts for when the time comes I am ready to talk about it. YES, I AM A VERY EXCITED PERSON. I haven't been in a couple of months so "excited" is an understatement. Ya Allah, I am grateful for Your infinite love. <3 If you have been following me on Twitter, you will notice all the happy tweets blended in with the nervous tweets. It has been a  roller coaster of emotions but I am humbled by His generosity.

What has happened the past few weeks?

• I was in Manila, with my sister and cousins. We were all looking for a job. :) We're back for a few weeks to follow up all credentials and fly back to Manila to accomplish another set of requirements. In shaa Allah everything will run smoothly. 
• Inah undergone surgery because of abnormal uterine bleeding. We stayed in the hospital overnight, discharged the next morning and alhamdulillah, she looks and feels better. Immensely grateful. :')
• My niece, born 4 months early, passed away. Too precious for the world, I say. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.. May Allah grant her Jannah and may the one's she left behind remain strong, patient and faithful despite this trying time. Ameen.

It's a cuddle weather Saturday today. Have a good one! Peace and love.

Whipple!

Writing a blogpost to release tension. *winks* I've been reading about Whipple's procedure for almost an entire day now. There's still more to read. This happens when I overthink and all the if's comes rushing to my head. I have handled a patient post-whipple surgery and I remember everything I did was routine nursing care. But tomorrow will be different because I will be receiving him a couple hours post-surgery. Plus, it will be my first time to be a private nurse. SO YES I AM SCARED!

May Allah azza wa jal relieve me of the nervousness I feel, give me wisdom at all times and grant me presence of mind as I take care of my patient tomorrow. 

Ameen.

 Assalamualaikum! :)

The Hills

Assalamualaikum.

I am feeling pretty sad today. I ranted about it earlier on Twitter.. I really wished I came home earlier. *sadface* But.. on a lighter, totally unrelated note, I am pretty excited about us (my sister, cousin and I) temporarily staying in Manila. Why, you ask? When I was around 15 (I'm not sure about this, I am bad at remembering personal timeline), I was obsessed with the idea of living alone, meaning no adults around. I even wanted to stay in a dormitory close to my uni even though I was already staying with my grandmom. Then I never missed an episode of, wait for it...

 "The Hills." Yep, I wanted to be Lauren Conrad working as an intern in a certain fashion magazine. There. I said it. 

So, we're leaving soon and we are getting all our documents ready. The reason we're moving is because we are on a job hunt. We're nurses and, unfortunately, Philippines doesn't have that much of an opportunity for us. I have a year worth of bedside experience in a special area in a tertiary hospital and I thought I'd get a chance of maybe getting a job here. Wrong. If I want a job, I have to be a volunteer again, get evaluated and go thru all these seemingly unfair process. That's why, we're gonna try our luck and apply abroad. In shaa Allah.

Dua's please? :))

TV talk

Assalamualaikum!

Okay. Another off set. My aunt, my Inah's sister, was hospitalized for two days. And I stayed with her  the entire time from admission until discharge, only going home to take a bath. It was the most uncomfortable 2 days ever. But I am glad to be of service to my very loving, humble and selfless Aunt. All is well now, alhamdulillah. She is now recovering from bronchial asthma and hypertension. May Allah make it easy for her during her recovery and keep her healthy. May Allah keep all of us away from harm. Ameen. :)

As for the title, well, these days they (my relatives) have been talking a lot about the TV we have downstairs that now serves just as a piece of decoration. It's broken and someone tried to fix it but didn't really manage to do the job. So we're getting a new TV, soon! I am excited 'cos I think out of everyone here, I probably watch a whole lot of TV. Yikes.

Anyway, just a quick hello to bloggie.

Talk to you soon!

Another randomness coming up

Assalamualikum!

I already had my Tawi-Tawi post drafted and thought I'd publish it a couple days ago but things took a different turn, so I am delaying sharing it for now. My Mmah (Dad) was in so much pain last Monday that he got rushed to the ER and was confined for 2 days. He was diagnosed with nephrolithiasis and prior knowing this, I was crying on my way to the hospital. But he is feeling well. All praises to the Allah, the Almighty Healer. Alfatihah. 

Earlier, I was bursting with things I wanted to share. Thoughts after thoughts kept coming and I'm was like "I gotta blog this." Then, now that I am face with an empty sheet, I cannot seem to come up with words. Writer's block? As if.

So. I am going to try and right what I was thinking earlier. Just to get to find out how much I have on my plate.

• Mmah's hospitalization woke me up. I cannot continue being a bum anymore. I need to get a job and since I don't think I'd be getting any in this city, I've decided to go to Manila next month. I'd go to every agency if that's what it takes and in shaa Allah, be hired. MUST GET A JOB.
• I am actually sad that I didn't get my job back. A couple of my previous workmates in Surgical ICU told me the hospital's adding 2 nurses in the unit and well, I assumed I'd be one of the two. But I was actually fearing the responsibility that will come with the job. I wasn't feeling ready to handle the unit by myself. So, I think the rejection, as hurtful as it feels, was more of a gift to me. I am not ready to handle a most-of-the-time busy unit. Scared and not ready. But, to be honest, I do miss being a Surgical ICU nurse. :'|
• The two things I have listed above are the things you can rummage in my head. I'd like to think that maybe these are signs telling me to seek a job overseas. Before, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to just stay here and get a job here but it's impossible. I don't know anyone who could help me land a job as nurse. And maybe, just maybe, it's Allah's way of making me realize I am better than just sitting around and waiting in this city. That in shaa Allah I have a better future outside the country. 
• I have a chaotic mind. I have things i'd rather not share in this very public blog. May Allah help me through a trying personal matter I have been dealing for quite a while now. May I come out this as a better Muslimah, a much willing slave of Allah. Ameen.

My plate is full, I guess. I have been thinking and worrying a lot these days. Maybe it's the caffeine? Just kidding. And thru all this thinking I saw this and I am reminded.

Going random and yes I am back from the island

Assalamualaikum!

I am back from my summer vacay! The graduation went well. My brother did an awesome job delivering the welcome address. The visit to one of the beautiful islands in Tawi-Tawi was amazing, mashaAllah! A much needed vacay it became, indeed. The thing I fear to happen the most, didn't happen. Ya Allah, You are the best!

The trip back home, though, was an entirely different story. @@ The little ferry we (Mom, younger sister and brother, and I) took stopped four times in the middle of the sea, it kept pushing and pushing to continue with the travel to Bongao, Tawi-Tawi even though the engine keeps failing until all the passengers demanded another ferry. After the transfer, I felt nauseous. It was the longest ferry ride ever. When we got to Bongao, we're dead tired. x__x Good thing the flight back home to Zamboanga City went smoothly. And now, I am back to the cityyyy! Living in the island surely makes me thankful for all the little things the city can provide--"freely" flowing water from the faucet, electricity, cold water from the fridge, internet.. Yeeah.

I arrived yesterday and after the ferry issue, I just took the day off and went lazy. But today, I finally got some things done that I kept postponing. I am crossing out two 3 things from that list 'cos it was a productive day. Alhamdulillah. Good vibes everywhere and in shaa Allah!

I am all perked up about recent employement talks.. nothing's sure yet but I am praying I get a job soon. Make dua'a for me please? :)

Till next update!