OFW Sheidydiaries: Noob

Assalamualaikum!

I am now far from my hometown, in a vast modernized desert. The flight went easy and smooth, alhamdulillah. I've been here for 5 days now and honestly, still in a bit of a culture shock. But in shaa Allah, I will be able to adjust well. =) 

I am currently staying with 6 other nurse in one huge flat but since my cousin is also here, I wish our request to become roomies will be granted. ;)

Everything feels strange. Being in a foreign land indeed is a challenge. But this is Saudi Arabia. For a Muslim like me, this is a huge  privilege. I am indeed looking forward to umrah and hajj opportunities, in shaa Allah. For now though, please keep me in your prayers. My batchmates and I are under a 3-month probationary period so I will be needing your duuas to be able to face every challenge with confidence, wisdom, wit and presence of mind.

May Allah grant all our halal desires. Ameen.

That's gonna be it for now. More later in shaa Allah.

Untitled

Been MIA for almost a month because.. well, maybe in another post. ;)

But just a really quick one.

I am gonna keep blogging here. 
I have decided I will never leave this blog. 
I am about to start a new chapter in my life and I must keep myself sane by releasing all the future stress in my future environment. 

Keep me in your prayers, dearest!

Assalamualaikum!

Are you ready?

I think one of the things friends have asked me a lot about these past few months is my relationship status. And my answer is always.. "wala eh." I don't actually mind, most of the time. I think being single is very liberating and well, sets me apart from a lot of adults my age. Honestly, though, I don't think I am ready to be un-single. To be associated with someone else. To be in a relationship.

"Bakit di ka pa ready?" 

One close guy friend of mine just asked me earlier. I told him because I have a lot of things planned for myself and in all those plans, being in a harmonious marriage, sits last. I want to give back to my parents. I have dreams for them. At this point in time, I also feel like neither my family nor myself are ready for me to settle down.

All that said, maybe this is His way of telling me that I have to wait for His plans for me. Maybe I am not ready because I really shouldn't be anything but single now. I trust Him. Marriage is a blessing from Him and so, I wait.

Assalamualaikum =)

THIS PLEASE

I am obsessed with books. Since I was a super kulit kid, I remember asking my parents, my titas, and titos to buy me books. =) I like the idea of getting lost in the characters' story, and well, sometimes BE the character, in a way. I like visualizing images in my head based on the author's words.. seeing the love interest of the main character for the first time, the meet-cute, the sunset, the kitchen, the view of the backyard from the veranda, the food, the dresses, the luxury, the lack and/or absence of luxury.. everything!

I can probably marry books. Hoho. That's how much I love books.

So.. having poured out my heart to you regarding my love for books.. I am head over heels obsessing over eREADERS! Imagine carrying 1000+ books and some more with you all the time.. heaven, right?

This.

The Kobo Glo♥

Photo not mine. Credits to VillageBooks.Com 

It is often compared with Kindle's Paperwhite. But the thing that separates Kobo Glo from all other eReaders out there is the fact that it reads all eBook formats! Epub, mobi, PDF.. everything! And it is the only eBook that has a micro SD card slot. "With 2 GB of internal memory and the option to expand up to 32 GB with a Micro SD card, Kobo Glo can store up to 30,000 of your favourite eBooks and documents.. (Kobo.Com)" Sweeeet!

This is definitely on top of my wishlist. Time to save up!

Assalamualaikum =)

Subscribe to thecountessanna!

This morning I wanted to have a real good laugh. Much to my delight, I found exactly what I need! A funny, smart, really good laugh! (Yes, huge emphasis on SMART.)

If you haven't heard of her and seen her videos, well whattayawaitingfeeerr! (of course I made that up, haha)

This made me laugh! Hey, I myself is guilty of posting selfies (these days with almost everyone owning a smartphone, who isn't?) but just to a certain level of non-awkardness. And I don't post selfie after selfie after selfie after selfie!.. Please.. it gets terribly annoying. The thing I adore about her is the fact that she mirrors my thoughts. And since I cannot exactly convert my thoughts into words, she does the job!

She's The One: NOT A REVIEW

This is NOT a review because I am not good in making reviews. Though I can definitely say that I enjoyed the movie♥ After a month of extreme happenings here in Zamboanga City, it felt good to laugh and fall inlove. Dingdong Dantes and Bea Alonzo clicked! They had chemistry and played each of their roles wonderfully. (Warning: This may be biased especially with Dingdong Dantes because I have been inlove with him since I was 8. Do the math.)

The story revolves around Wacky and Cath. Wacky, a TV host struggling in his career and Cath, his bestfriend who lives with her grandparents after the death of her parents. She takes care of her grandparents and siblings, and also handles a business where Wacky is a partner. So they happened to be bestfriends, who promised to be that forever. But.. along the road, they fell in love. But never had the courage to go beyond friends. (Cath then tried to move on by dating David, played by Enrique Gil.)

Honestly, that hurts. Why can love never be enough? It should be, shouldn't it? If you like the person, go, fall, say it. If he doesn't like you back, move on, because he is not the one.

But..

Can a man and a woman be just friends? 

What happens if one realizes it can be more than that? And probably wants more than just that? 

Do you cross the fine line between friends and lovers? 

Is it fair to never go beyond friendship just because of a possibility of ruining everything?

All those questions, eh? I know someone who's going thru the same sitch as Wacky and Cath. They've known each other for a little over 7 years! And have been really close since day one. She fell for him first, for seven years tried to move on but hasn't been successful. The guy, on the other hand, well.. never really been single until now. She already stopped hoping, although now, she seems to be rekindling whatever romantic feeling she had for him. The thing is they actually look like a couple. I've seen them together whenever we're out with friends. They are inseparable. The way they look at each other is full of adoration. For those who don't know them, would definitely think they are a newly wed couple.

I don't know what's stopping them.

Well.. I kinda know. The guy is scared of hurting her and ruining their "friendship." The girl, on the other hand, is just as scared but more willing to try where it could lead them.

The guys should at least try not to hurt her. She has been the most constant thing in his life. He knows that. He sees that. He feels that. And obvious that he cares for her as much as she does. It's a little bit unfair that he loves her so much but so scared of losing her that he decides to just "keep" her.

As for the girl, I want her to be happy. She's been "moving on" for soooo long now. Ironically, I feel like she has trapped herself in a bubble and avoided seeing other people for him. I wish she finds her happiness without him.

If one day, THEY happen, I hope they stay together forever. May they love and treasure each other and be the best of friends until Jannah. 

As for the questions I have listed, I don't think I have the answers. 

For those in similar situation as Wacky and Cath, and my friends, I hope you love yourself first before giving away that love. And always remember, what is meant to be, no matter what happens, will be. 

So.. smile, love and always have faith♥

Bright side!

Alhamdulillah after almost 2 weeks of harsh rains, the scorching heat of the sun is back! To look outside and see the clear blue sky, feel the sun rays, experience the humidity again.. everything so dry and cheerful. Just beautiful. Indeed a rainbow after the rain. Praises to Allah SWT.

I am finally getting a ton of things done :) after being on a house arrest for a very long time, I am going outside and tick stuff of my to-do list, in shaa Allah.

I pray you are doing well.

Peace, love and everything sweet!


Assalamualaikum!

P.S. Photo above from here.

Something Personal

I have the tendency to make excuses for other people. I guess that's my way of coping with an undesirable situation, turn it to something understandable. Bearable.

For the past few years, I have been trying my best to understand, came up with excuses after excuses for a close relative. I got none now. I feel like maybe she's just intentionally insensitive. Top it with me being very sensitive, so with every remark she makes, it stings. It could also be that she thinks I am still a teenager with all the rage and hormones that she has deduced me to being just that (see?, another excuse).

Well, it is true that I cannot please everybody, no one can. But I also think that sometimes people have decided not to give a second chance. 

And that is beyond unfair.

May Allah SWT make it easy for me to understand. May He help me rid of anger over this matter. Ameen.

Assalamualaikum.

Nth

Day 12.

May peace reign in our hearts, in our relationship with others and in the entire world.

Assalamualaikum, Zamboanga.

Crisis in my beloved home

I woke up early for Fajr prayer in the morning of September 9. After doing my wudhu, our telephone rang. My cousin asked if we heard gunshots. I said we didn't. She told us her entire family moved to my Aunt's house temporarily because the rebels attacked their barangay and the barangays nearby. She told us to prepare in case we need to evacuate our place since it's close to the affected areas. 

I told my grandmother about the call. She asked to switch on the television. 

And I went upstairs to pray. When I got down, the news started coming in.

The MNLF (Moro National Liberation Front) has entered the city and is heavily armed. Innocent civilians have evacuated their homes to look for safer grounds. The rebel group seized hostages and used them as human shield. 5 barangays are under attack by the rebel groups. Military troops prevents spillover to other areas, and counter attack. Classes and offices are suspended. Flights going in and out of the city are cancelled.

Afternoon came and President Aquino sends Interior Secretary Mar Roxas, Defense Secretary Voltaire Gazmin, and Armed Forces chief Gen. Emmanuel Bautista to Zamboanga City to help defuse the tension. 

My entire family and I stayed home and prayed for the safety of our friends and relatives. I underestimated the situation and thought that by late afternoon, the rebel group will surrender to the local government. But they didn't and the situation was out of control. Helicopter patrolled the skies, shots are still being fired, and innocent civilians continued to flee nearby barangays. By night time, my grandmother told us to pack our stuff and be ready. JUST IN CASE.

Security forces walk past debris scattered on a street after rebels from the Moro National Liberation Front (MNLF) clashed with government troops in Zamboanga City on Monday. MNLF forces tried to take over the city and raise their flag at the city hall but were prevented by government forces. Photo: Reuters

My friends working in Zamboaga City Medical Center, usually working on 8-hour shifting basis, had no choice but to stay. The hospital is situated in one of the crisis areas. By afternoon, patients were transferred to a gymnasium that was converted to a satellite hospital. And after more than 12 hours of work, my nurse friends got relieved from duty and were home safely. 

Patients that were transferred from Zamboanga City Medical Center to Western Mindanao State University Gymnasium converted to Satellite Emergency Hospital. Photo: GMA NEWS

I slept late and lightly. Woke up every once in a while because of roaring choppers overhead. My Inah and my Mmah, who are in Tawi-Tawi, kept calling and texting us. It was a terrifying night. 

Day 2 of the crisis left us feeling anxious and tired. There seemed to be no resolution, and terror is escalating. I feared for the lives of our relatives and friends who decided to stay and guard their homes. As advised by the local government, my family and I stayed home. My Aunt who is working in Virginia, USA and my Uncle in Saudi Arabia called and made sure of our safety. 

The rebels want 3 things: a place where they could stay, for them to be allowed entrance to the city hall and raise their flag, and a one-on-one talk with Mayor Beng Climaco. Three obviously impossible requests.

By midday, there were rumors of a possible attack in our barangay. Here's why were worried, we are surrounded by the 5 affected barangays from end to end. We wanted to leave but grandfather said we should stay. Rumors were indeed rumors. The number of evacuees are staggering. Reported 7000 individuals are in Joaquin Memorial Grandstand--children, women, senior citizens all moved safely but I can't seem to fathom their fear and their hunger. The good people of Zamboanga though has poured out help to the evacuees and made efforts to make sure they have food. Still, donations in cash or in kind will be greatly appreciated. 

Please send your donations to:

TZU CHI FOUNDATION

Banco de Oro: 3170069688

BDO Swift Code: BNORPHMM

For those who have dry goods to donate, you may send them to:

Dian Hap Building (back of Waltac Vet. Clinic/Sky Cable) Nuñez St., Zone III, Zamboanga City

or directly to the Sangguniang Panglunsod (SP) through Councilor Myra Paz Valderrosa Abubakar 

(From: Marco Lobregat)
In Sta. Barbara, one of the barangays under "seige", houses are burned. Firetrucks unfortunately weren't given clearance to enter the premise.

It is Day 3. We are still hearing gunshots being fired. But today, we are trying to get things back to normal. Businesses started to reopen. Work in some offices have resumed. While I am completing this, the military troops are on the move and being aggressive.

Food distribution to the evacuees. Photo: GMA NEWS

We are praying this ends today. It caused the entire city too much stress. The city of Zamboanga doesn't deserve this. People are worried of their security. The people who left their homes are going hungry and getting scared.

Include us in your prayers, make duaa for the entire city. 

We all want the same thing: PEACE.

Assalamualaikum!

("May peace be upon you.")

P.S. Photos not mine. Credits to owners.

Selfie lovin'

In this era, who hasn't made a selfie? You may not be a fan of uploading your selfies online but I am pretty confident if I browse thru your fone, I'm gonna find a gorge selfie. I think I said selfie too much for this post. Sorry, I'm not sorry!

If you're having a difficulty taking that perfect selfie, the ultimate beauty vlogger, Michelle Phan has tips for you!



Assalamualaikum!

Ya Allah azza wa jal

The attack of innocent civilians in Syria woke me up. I'm still haunted by the images of children attacked in their home while asleep with their family with the use of chemical weapon. Whoever did such horrendous act have no space for love, light and Allah in their hearts. 

Wherever you are, take time to make duaa for Muslims all over the world.

Ya Rabb, may You grant the victims of terrorism, oppression, and torture, and all those who died for Your sake the highest level of Jannah. 

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.

Assalamualaykum.

Gloomy day

Assalamualaikum. :)

It's drizzling while I am writing this.. crazy, bipolar weather lately. -__- I hope you're all safe and dry.

Have you been through feeling like you wanna say something but afraid to say so much? Well, I am in that mood lately and it's so frustrating! If I say a lot, it could hurt someone and something. If I don't say anything, it gets confusing and strange. This has been going on for way too long, but how to stop? Ugh. Feelings and emotions are stuff I seem to have difficulty dealing with. Meh. SMH.

Anyway.. let's move that stuff aside. I'll deal with it when I have to REALLY deal with it. For now, I'll pretend I don't care. Goodluck with that. :|

So I have been getting pretty excited with makeup lately. I am enjoying makeup tutorials (woot, woot!)--Michelle Phan, is one awesome lady! And another beauty guru I visit a lot is TheMakeupChair. She has informative videos for beginners like me! I have no clue about makeup but they make it easy and fun! But for now I am happy with a BB cream, loose powder, lip balm and gloss. I just enjoooooy their videos :D

And another YouTuber I've been fangirling is MacBarbie07! For those of you who know her, ain't she awesome? Her videos make me forget my problems, cheers me up all the time! For those of you who haven't heard of her, go check her videos. It's all rainbows, unicorns, cotton candy, smiles, love and all things sparkly and nice!


See what I'm talking about? JOY. HAPPY. FUN. Yeah that's Bethers! :)

I also want to share you this site. You can find tons of inspirational photos and quotes.. I spend a lot of time there. Pick me up kind of site.. Some photos I like below, probably the things I'm afraid to say..

And things I find pretty..

And lookie, DIY!

Til next update. Peace and tons of love <3

Eid Mubarak!

Assalamualaikum!

Better late than never..

Eid'l fitr al-mubarak my brothers and sisters!

My facebook friends, twitter and IG followers know that this was a truly memorable Ramadhan for me. :') I intend to keep the good habits I started and fully rid off the bad ones I avoided during the blessed month (no more nail biting, no more "emotional baggage,".. etc.). May all our duaa's, prayers and repentance be accepted by Allah azza wa jal. May we remain steadfast in our prayers. May we be granted good health to live through Ramadhan next year in shaa Allah. May we all strive to be better Muslims for Allah SWT's sake. Ameen.

I love you for the sake of Allah SWT.

:)

Twenty three

Assalamualaikum~

Guess who turned 23 last 30th of June? Who else but me! I thank Allah for the wonderful blessings and love He unconditionally showered upon me for 23 years. I pray that I become stronger in faith, that I prove worthy of His love and entry in Jannah; I pray good health for myself and for my loved ones; I pray for love that will last 'til Jannah in shaa Allah. I feel like I am asking for too much here but in all honesty, I will be grateful for whatever He gives. :)

What I did that day? It was a Sunday and we have that day to get groceries. I bought ice cream for everyone. Dinner was scrumptous as always. It was like any other day because I have learned not to celebrate it the way I used to. Not that I celebrated it with a large crowd and singing and booze, astaghfirullah, that's haram. We used to have cake and tons of food. This time though, it didn't matter if there's something special in store for me. I would admit though that it felt nice that my friends remembered I was turning a year older (wiser, too, perhaps?).

Blabbers and wonders

Assalamualikum.

It has been over a month since my last update. I feel like I don't know how to blog anymore. Not like I am an expert or anything.. just.. I know you get what I mean. Anywootsiedoops, I have been MIA for such a looooong time because I had "important" "adult-ish" "mature-ish" stuff to take care of (and still taking care of at the moment). And as much as I am itching to share the details, I would rather keep it to myself and my family for now (woah, I feel like I am getting married or something, and it's not that, not yet). In shaa Allah when everything's set.. I actually drafted a couple of posts for when the time comes I am ready to talk about it. YES, I AM A VERY EXCITED PERSON. I haven't been in a couple of months so "excited" is an understatement. Ya Allah, I am grateful for Your infinite love. <3 If you have been following me on Twitter, you will notice all the happy tweets blended in with the nervous tweets. It has been a  roller coaster of emotions but I am humbled by His generosity.

What has happened the past few weeks?

• I was in Manila, with my sister and cousins. We were all looking for a job. :) We're back for a few weeks to follow up all credentials and fly back to Manila to accomplish another set of requirements. In shaa Allah everything will run smoothly. 
• Inah undergone surgery because of abnormal uterine bleeding. We stayed in the hospital overnight, discharged the next morning and alhamdulillah, she looks and feels better. Immensely grateful. :')
• My niece, born 4 months early, passed away. Too precious for the world, I say. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un.. May Allah grant her Jannah and may the one's she left behind remain strong, patient and faithful despite this trying time. Ameen.

It's a cuddle weather Saturday today. Have a good one! Peace and love.

Whipple!

Writing a blogpost to release tension. *winks* I've been reading about Whipple's procedure for almost an entire day now. There's still more to read. This happens when I overthink and all the if's comes rushing to my head. I have handled a patient post-whipple surgery and I remember everything I did was routine nursing care. But tomorrow will be different because I will be receiving him a couple hours post-surgery. Plus, it will be my first time to be a private nurse. SO YES I AM SCARED!

May Allah azza wa jal relieve me of the nervousness I feel, give me wisdom at all times and grant me presence of mind as I take care of my patient tomorrow. 

Ameen.

 Assalamualaikum! :)

The Hills

Assalamualaikum.

I am feeling pretty sad today. I ranted about it earlier on Twitter.. I really wished I came home earlier. *sadface* But.. on a lighter, totally unrelated note, I am pretty excited about us (my sister, cousin and I) temporarily staying in Manila. Why, you ask? When I was around 15 (I'm not sure about this, I am bad at remembering personal timeline), I was obsessed with the idea of living alone, meaning no adults around. I even wanted to stay in a dormitory close to my uni even though I was already staying with my grandmom. Then I never missed an episode of, wait for it...

 "The Hills." Yep, I wanted to be Lauren Conrad working as an intern in a certain fashion magazine. There. I said it. 

So, we're leaving soon and we are getting all our documents ready. The reason we're moving is because we are on a job hunt. We're nurses and, unfortunately, Philippines doesn't have that much of an opportunity for us. I have a year worth of bedside experience in a special area in a tertiary hospital and I thought I'd get a chance of maybe getting a job here. Wrong. If I want a job, I have to be a volunteer again, get evaluated and go thru all these seemingly unfair process. That's why, we're gonna try our luck and apply abroad. In shaa Allah.

Dua's please? :))

TV talk

Assalamualaikum!

Okay. Another off set. My aunt, my Inah's sister, was hospitalized for two days. And I stayed with her  the entire time from admission until discharge, only going home to take a bath. It was the most uncomfortable 2 days ever. But I am glad to be of service to my very loving, humble and selfless Aunt. All is well now, alhamdulillah. She is now recovering from bronchial asthma and hypertension. May Allah make it easy for her during her recovery and keep her healthy. May Allah keep all of us away from harm. Ameen. :)

As for the title, well, these days they (my relatives) have been talking a lot about the TV we have downstairs that now serves just as a piece of decoration. It's broken and someone tried to fix it but didn't really manage to do the job. So we're getting a new TV, soon! I am excited 'cos I think out of everyone here, I probably watch a whole lot of TV. Yikes.

Anyway, just a quick hello to bloggie.

Talk to you soon!

Another randomness coming up

Assalamualikum!

I already had my Tawi-Tawi post drafted and thought I'd publish it a couple days ago but things took a different turn, so I am delaying sharing it for now. My Mmah (Dad) was in so much pain last Monday that he got rushed to the ER and was confined for 2 days. He was diagnosed with nephrolithiasis and prior knowing this, I was crying on my way to the hospital. But he is feeling well. All praises to the Allah, the Almighty Healer. Alfatihah. 

Earlier, I was bursting with things I wanted to share. Thoughts after thoughts kept coming and I'm was like "I gotta blog this." Then, now that I am face with an empty sheet, I cannot seem to come up with words. Writer's block? As if.

So. I am going to try and right what I was thinking earlier. Just to get to find out how much I have on my plate.

• Mmah's hospitalization woke me up. I cannot continue being a bum anymore. I need to get a job and since I don't think I'd be getting any in this city, I've decided to go to Manila next month. I'd go to every agency if that's what it takes and in shaa Allah, be hired. MUST GET A JOB.
• I am actually sad that I didn't get my job back. A couple of my previous workmates in Surgical ICU told me the hospital's adding 2 nurses in the unit and well, I assumed I'd be one of the two. But I was actually fearing the responsibility that will come with the job. I wasn't feeling ready to handle the unit by myself. So, I think the rejection, as hurtful as it feels, was more of a gift to me. I am not ready to handle a most-of-the-time busy unit. Scared and not ready. But, to be honest, I do miss being a Surgical ICU nurse. :'|
• The two things I have listed above are the things you can rummage in my head. I'd like to think that maybe these are signs telling me to seek a job overseas. Before, I didn't want to leave. I wanted to just stay here and get a job here but it's impossible. I don't know anyone who could help me land a job as nurse. And maybe, just maybe, it's Allah's way of making me realize I am better than just sitting around and waiting in this city. That in shaa Allah I have a better future outside the country. 
• I have a chaotic mind. I have things i'd rather not share in this very public blog. May Allah help me through a trying personal matter I have been dealing for quite a while now. May I come out this as a better Muslimah, a much willing slave of Allah. Ameen.

My plate is full, I guess. I have been thinking and worrying a lot these days. Maybe it's the caffeine? Just kidding. And thru all this thinking I saw this and I am reminded.

Going random and yes I am back from the island

Assalamualaikum!

I am back from my summer vacay! The graduation went well. My brother did an awesome job delivering the welcome address. The visit to one of the beautiful islands in Tawi-Tawi was amazing, mashaAllah! A much needed vacay it became, indeed. The thing I fear to happen the most, didn't happen. Ya Allah, You are the best!

The trip back home, though, was an entirely different story. @@ The little ferry we (Mom, younger sister and brother, and I) took stopped four times in the middle of the sea, it kept pushing and pushing to continue with the travel to Bongao, Tawi-Tawi even though the engine keeps failing until all the passengers demanded another ferry. After the transfer, I felt nauseous. It was the longest ferry ride ever. When we got to Bongao, we're dead tired. x__x Good thing the flight back home to Zamboanga City went smoothly. And now, I am back to the cityyyy! Living in the island surely makes me thankful for all the little things the city can provide--"freely" flowing water from the faucet, electricity, cold water from the fridge, internet.. Yeeah.

I arrived yesterday and after the ferry issue, I just took the day off and went lazy. But today, I finally got some things done that I kept postponing. I am crossing out two 3 things from that list 'cos it was a productive day. Alhamdulillah. Good vibes everywhere and in shaa Allah!

I am all perked up about recent employement talks.. nothing's sure yet but I am praying I get a job soon. Make dua'a for me please? :)

Till next update!

Excess

Assalamualaikum!

This, of course, doesn't mean that I am back from my trip. I am leaving tomorrow and I am so anxious about this trip that I need an outlet. My sister and I are done packing. She's the only one with baggage so we're trying our best to fit everything into the allotted 15 kgs. We've weighed the stuff for check-in, and our weighing scale says were okay--like 12 kilos okay. But, well, I am thinking about the high-tech weighing scale at the airport and I am worried we get pass the 15 kilos, I hope not. And I have all these stuff to carry. And I am sick worried.

I just remembered I haven't packed my slippers and my other shoes yet. :s

*sigh*

Ya Allah, I pray for Your guidance during trip with my sister. May we reach the islands of Tawi-Tawi safely. May everything go well.. You know what I mean. Like the "thing" that is worrying me? Yes, that.. I also pray that we get back here to the city of Zamboanga unscathed, unharmed and with hearts full of love and joy and peace. Ameen.

YEZ I STILL EXIST

Assalamualaikum!

Here goes the usual rant: blog, I am starting to disappoint you. And I wish I could do better than leave you hanging. Story of my life. I feel like everything's on hold and I am well aware it's not. Time goes by, and I am losing it.. allowing it to fly. Tsk tsk tsk. *siiiighhhh*

I decided to update before I go on leave for a while.☺ 10 days to be exact. I am leaving the confines of my lola's home, the infinity internet equivalently the www, this city, the electricity (or the irritating power interruption that is ruining this beautiful city), my annoying yet adorable little cousins, Maya and Sir Chief (cos there'e no electricity during the daylight in the island of Tandubas, Tawi-Tawi where I am going with my sister for my one and only brother's graduation from primary school), and every beautiful thing in this city life. 10 days. It's not like I cannot do it (I stayed on retreat for 1 month in the place mentioned earlier right after my licensure exam 3 years ago) but astagfirullah, this dunya can be quite, you know, tempting. Ya Allah, forgive me.

On another note, I am currently trying to improve my Arabic reading skills!! Thankful to Learn Iqra apps on Play Store that in shaa Allah I'd be able to read faster. IN SHAA ALLAH! :)

So. I'll update once I get back. This is a promise. Like the minute I get here, after eating and getting the needed sleep (I am already anticipating the scenario when I get back from my trip), I will extend my salaam(s) to all of you. I'll post pictures of the beautiful island and the equally beautiful people there.

Wasalaam ❤

Hi ho!

Assalamualikum!

I know, I know I haven't updated for almost a month now. Just being typical me. :) Well, last week was pretty eventful for someone like me. First, I was invited to dinner by my former co-nurses. It was grand to see them after so looooong. And I was indeed full that night. I enjoyed the Caifornia Maki and the mango cake thing.

Alhamdulillah for knowing such smart, passionate and humble people in my life. I was truly blessed to have been given the opportunity to work with them.

And then, well, I watched the Cheerdance Competition with my sister since we got tickets. We we're supposed to meet the guest performer during the said event the following day but that didn't happen leaving my other sister sad. So I took her out for retail therapy. That didn't work. :s But we were promised a next time. ;)

That was pretty much it. No new nothing really. In shaa Allah I will be posting an update soonest.

To Allah We Belong and To Him Is Our Return

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatu.

For 15 months I worked as a nurse at one of the busiest units of Zamboanga City Medical Center, the Surgical ICU. All patients I cared for are critically ill, most of them with poor prognoses. So, it ends up in two ways, they go home back to their families or return to our Almighty Creator. 15 months and maybe you'd think I am used to seeing people die (they were quite a few). But no. I don't think I will ever be. I don't think anyone will be. Yes, death is inevitable. We live, we die. That the journey of living ends in death. 

The Quran tells us:

"Every soul shall have a taste of death: In the end to Us shall you be brought back." (29:57)

Then, it is the only thing certain. Death is the barrier between this wordly life and the Hereafter, the only barrier from coming face-to-face with Allah, the Exalted, the Most High. It should be an awesome moment. To finally see Him and talk to Him and thank Him non-stop for all the wonderful blessings He has bestowed upon you and your family during your "living" days. Then it hits you. There's one of these two places you go to and stay permanently: 1. Heaven 2. Hell. If you have been a good person, you go to 1. If you were otherwise, the very hot 2 awaits you. This is the part I may be worried the most. Am I ready to face him? Truth be told, I am not. And maybe even most of us. I have cared sooo much about living in this world and it scares me how little I think I am doing to prepare for the Hereafter. I wonder, have I done enough to deserve choice number 1? Do I still have time left to work on my deen?  I hope so. 

"What is the life of this world

but amusement and play? But verily the Home of the Hereafter -- that

is Life indeed, if they but knew." (29:64)

"Every soul shall have a taste of death: and only on the Day of

Judgement shall you be paid your full recompense. Only he who is save

far from the Fire and admitted to the Garden will have attained the

object (of Life): For the life of this world is but goods and

chattels of deception" (3:185)

I frequently tell myself that for as long as Allah wills, I will do my best to do the things the way Allah wants things to be done. Everyday is a chance to be a better Muslim and to be closer to Him. Blessed are we all to wake up and be given the chance to read the Quran, do good deeds, pray the 5 obligatory prayers, give charity, dwell in the remembrance of Allah and do everything it takes to enter the gates of Paradise. In Shaa Allah.

Earlier today, my grandfather's brother passed away. I happened to be one of his nurses during his stay in the Surgical ICU after the doctor's discovered a tumor in his colon and removed it surgically. He was doing well and was even told by his physician that he has a high rate of survival because no metastases was seen. He just needs to go thru chemotherapy. But I think his family decided against it (I'm not sure about this part, though). So weeks passed, he was feeling okay but eventually, grew weaker and weaker. And today, he returns to face Allah Almighty.

انا لله وانا اليه راجعون

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'oon.

(To Allah we belong, and to him is our return
Holy Qur’an – Al- Baqarah 2:156)

May Allah rest his soul in peace, expand and lighten his grave. May he be forgiven for all his sins and granted the highest level of Jannah. May Allah guide those he has left behind, grant them patience to bear this hardship and turn to Allah during this difficult time. Ameen.

P.S. Photos are not mine, credits to the owners.

Assalamualaikum~

These past few days, I have been trying my best to be smart about my expenses. As in everything's on a super tight budget since I am currently unemployed (but running a small time business). Anyway, for today, I added things up and budgeted 1000 pesos for the one-way plane ticket to Tawi-Tawi (on March 2013, I got the promo flight tickets, of course) and some personal supplies. To my surprise, I spent more. @@ I dunno how it happened but I lost a couple of bucks while getting groceries. Still pissd abut it but there's nothing I could do about it. Just gonna pray that someone in need got hold of the few bucks I prolly accidentally dropped.

^ I have no cash on hand. My red wallet is currently sad. :s

So much for being intensely thrifty. Le sigh~

Home bound

Asslamualaikummm~

It has been 2 days since my last day at work. It was a stressful ending to my one year contract at Zamboanga City Medical Center but everything just felt worth it. The last two weeks were a struggle.. I had to work the night shift by myself, Alhamdulillah I survived. I am most thankful to be home, though. Don't get me wrong, I love being a nurse but circumstances make it best for me stay home for now.

Right now, I am savoring every bit of being a home buddy. I get to cook again, spend time with my little cousins, get fit, watch tons of TV and etcetera. So far, home is treating me well. Nyahaha.

^ Taken during my last few days at work. Yezzz, things were toxxxxic.